[ Rafa sighs, dramatically. He should have known this would be difficult. He palms the keys, and tilts his head while he regards Adam. The boy is stubborn, there is no doubt about that. Stubborn and difficult, and therein lies the challenge. The difficult ones always appeal to him the most. He moves a little closer, dark eyes never leaving Adam's. ]
Why not?
[ His voice is soft, for once, lacking his usual amusement. ]
I owed you. I took from you, and now I must give back. It is better than the original. Don't you mind relying on others to drive you?
[ Of course, Rafa doesn't mind that. He very often has a driver, and when he was younger, he'd rarely left home without one. But he doesn't think Adam is from that world. Adam is from somewhere much more modest, yet he does not allow himself pleasure. Even though, in Adam's case, the only one preventing him is Adam. It's very strange. ]
You took a crappy rust bucket from me. [ He doesn't move back but he does lean on his heels away from Rafa. ] This looks like it belongs on a track.
[ It's gorgeous and Adam is reminded of the promise he made himself. That one day he would have a car like this, one day he'd be driving something that made it seem as though he were beautiful and sleek too. This is not that day. He is still broken and salvaged parts. ]
And that's what you owe me. [ His tightens his muscles and tips his chin in challenge. ] Something second hand. Something that costs the same as the one you wrecked. I don't want this.
[ For a moment, Rafa is genuinely startled. His face shows it, and he lifts his hand to run it along his jaw. His eyes flick down to the car, moving over its sleek body and deep colour. There isn't a single ounce of damage on it. It does not, as Adam says, belong on a track. It belongs in a garage.
Which this street is lacking in. Fair point.
He nods, and then spreads his hands. ]
Then you will have to show me. I do not know where to get a 'crappy rust bucket'. [ A flickering smile. ] The showrooms had nothing like that.
[ So, he tucks the keys into Adam's folded arms. ]
[ He breathes through his nose like a bull waiting for the first flash of red. He doesn't want to go anywhere with Rafa simply because he knows that's what's wanted. Adam having to deal with him on a social scale, Adam falling in line. It makes something angry and bitter crackle under his skin and for a moment he is mute with it.
Then his voice comes, stiff and unyielding. ] Do you even know how to use a computer? Craigslist exists for a reason.
[ He's got a few cheap and shitty cars bookmarked. He could email them. ] The kind I need won't be in a showroom.
[ But sites like Craigslist are another matter. He doesn't buy anything secondhand. Truthfully, his knowledge of computers is quite specific - he knows how to use them for what he wants, and that's about it. This technology fascinates him, in part because it's all so foreign and strange. He's no expert with it. ]
You will still need to show me. I was serious about getting you what you want. Even if what you want is very strange.
[ A pause and then a deep and long-suffering sigh. ] You have a website. Of course you do.
[ Adam's gaze is once more drawn to the car and then it soars to the little window about St. Agnes' where his laptop is. It would be easier, wouldn't it? To show Rafa and get him to make the arrangements, to get him out of Adam's life for good. It would be easier and yet showing someone like this his decrepit living space feels sickening. ]
[ Rafa laughs, and quickly shakes his head. His cool hand pats Adam's arm. ]
Nothing your eyes would want to see. Unless you are less innocent than you seem.
[ Which is unlikely. Adam always seems tense. Which might be because Rafa keeps pushing his buttons, but he suspects that it's more than that. He smiles. ]
You know more of me than I do of you already. We should redress that balance, don't you think?
[ He flinches out of Rafa's touch, taking a step back against the gravelly dirt of the parking lot. He doesn't mean to and it's clear he's angry at himself for it the minute after it's done. He'd hoped he could stop cowing away from a touch one day. ]
Fine. I'll answer a question. And then you'll go away.
[ His hands get tucked tighter under his arms, his hoodie doing nothing to make him feel covered up and warm or safe. ] One question.
[ He ignores the comment, ignores it like he'd ignored the bruises littering his skin for so many years. He is not afraid. He is just empty. ]
Ten minutes to show you the car and then you leave. And we never have to talk again. You can just park it here when you've got it. [ It's an ultimatum and one he does his best to be sure of if his sharp and jerking movements back to the church is anything to go by.
Adam doesn't look back either way, taking the steps up two at a time and moving towards his apartment. ]
[ Rafa takes one step towards the building, and then another.
He stops. Ten minutes. It's not enough. He sighs. ]
So, I can come in?
[ How ridiculous that this must still be specified. All these years, and still these inconveniences annoy him. Humans never understand how safe they are in their homes. ]
[ Adam pauses on the stairs, his gaze sharp and dark in the dim light of the steps. Dust motes twirl and spin around him through the weak light of the lamppost outside shining through a dirty window. ]
You can come in. [ He doesn't even realise, he just thinks it's another came considering how easy it is to step inside and turn. His apartment is bare, a single Ikea bedframe, a desk covered in books and school papers and empty soda cans, a bin turned upside down for a bedside table with a lamp on it. On his windowsill there is a Transformer action figure. It doesn't look lived in at all. ]
I'd offer you a drink but I don't have anything in. [ And he doesn't want to anyway. ]
[ Rafa's smile is quick and fierce. Where before there had been a barrier, now there is none. He walks across the grass. As he does, his eyes flick to the Church. It's old, but the ground is still consecrated. He can feel it trying to burn through the soles of his shoes, and he quickens his step. Not enough to seem more than human, not tonight, but quick enough to take him hurriedly to Adam's stairs.
That's better. He keeps his hands in his pockets, and he moves quickly up -
Into a room that's so bare, it takes him back centuries. Rafa stares at it, and remembers another room, equally bare, except that the beds had been stacked one on top of the other, and the bedside tables had been full of small drawers, and the light had come from candles. He blinks, glances at Adam, and without being asked goes to lounge back on the bed.
Even through that haze of memories, he finds himself smiling. ]
I will drink later. [ He pulls his legs up beneath him, sitting crosslegged on the bed. He looks comfortable enough to belong there. ] Why do you live alone? [ Another pause. ] It is a place of death. Did you know?
[ With a dry and sarcastic edge. ] Make yourself at home, why don't you?
[ He takes his desk chair, a rickety old thing he found at goodwill and turns to his laptop to start booting it up. It's as old as he is, or near enough and will take a good six out of those ten minutes. ]
Is it? [ He sounds like he doesn't care. ] It's better than most places.
[ He can't quite place it. He doesn't know if there's a body - if there is, it's buried deep - but the scent permeates the walls here, as if death itself is a presence with them.
Rafa doesn't mind it. He's seen plenty of death, but he didn't think humans were fond of living around it. He watches Adam, eyes ticking between him and the laptop. Eventually, he leans back against the wall, and settles his hands in his lap. ]
[ God never wanted him and besides, after everything that happened in Cabeswater, after having to dig Noah up from his grave, knowing that Gansey will die, of course he doesn't. ]
Are you about to start preaching? Because the door's there. You should use it.
[ Despite the fact that religious artefacts burn through his skin. Despite the fact that the ground outside had wanted to set him alight. Rafa lifts his shoulders. ]
But you live above a Church. I wondered if it meant something. Most humans do not live on hallowed ground.
[ And most vampires don't visit it by choice. Nikolai will have his head for doing this. ]
[ His fingers tap out an unsteady tempo against his keyboard even as his laptop screen remains resolutely on the loading screen. Adam wouldn't have been able to afford the Aglionby dormitories and he refused to move into Monmouth with Gansey. It's only because Ronan knew some people that he managed to find here at all. ]
[ Rafa nods at first. He's still watching Adam. He's killed men in the time it's taking for that laptop to boot up, but he senses it was pique Adam's ire to mention that.
So instead, he drops his head back against the wall. ]
[ Rafa lifts an eyebrow, eyes staying resolutely on Adam's face. He's counting the freckles again. An impossible task. He'd thought so before, and it still doesn't stop him trying. ]
[ His jaw clenches, his gaze slides away. But there's no way to answer him and not have it be honest. ]
Because I needed to make it on my own.
[ Gansey comes over so often and tells him a place at Monmouth is still available, that he can come any day. But if Adam refused when his face was a map of bruises he can refuse now. ]
[ His shoulders hunch and his fingers move like scattered birds across the keyboard to type in his password. He doesn't look at Rafa. ]
I just want to have what I've worked for. Nothing more. [ Except he might work himself into the grave instead, with his three jobs and desire to pass everything in his classes with flying colours. ]
That car doesn't belong to me. I haven't done anything for it.
[ Rafa's eyes stay closed. His fingers tick against his lap. Adam's scent strengthens the longer they're here. It overpowers everything else, even the scent of death. He smells warm and human, despite the hint of magic. Rafa can hear the pulse of his blood, and imagines it moving that freckle. ]
I took what you worked for.
[ He takes a breath, and one eye opens just a fraction. Enough to see how Adam takes this. ]
It is not terrible to want for more. But I understand. You do not like to make things easy on yourself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Why not?
[ His voice is soft, for once, lacking his usual amusement. ]
I owed you. I took from you, and now I must give back. It is better than the original. Don't you mind relying on others to drive you?
[ Of course, Rafa doesn't mind that. He very often has a driver, and when he was younger, he'd rarely left home without one. But he doesn't think Adam is from that world. Adam is from somewhere much more modest, yet he does not allow himself pleasure. Even though, in Adam's case, the only one preventing him is Adam. It's very strange. ]
Try it. Where is the harm?
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[ It's gorgeous and Adam is reminded of the promise he made himself. That one day he would have a car like this, one day he'd be driving something that made it seem as though he were beautiful and sleek too. This is not that day. He is still broken and salvaged parts. ]
And that's what you owe me. [ His tightens his muscles and tips his chin in challenge. ] Something second hand. Something that costs the same as the one you wrecked. I don't want this.
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Which this street is lacking in. Fair point.
He nods, and then spreads his hands. ]
Then you will have to show me. I do not know where to get a 'crappy rust bucket'. [ A flickering smile. ] The showrooms had nothing like that.
[ So, he tucks the keys into Adam's folded arms. ]
Take me there, and I will get you what you want.
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Then his voice comes, stiff and unyielding. ] Do you even know how to use a computer? Craigslist exists for a reason.
[ He's got a few cheap and shitty cars bookmarked. He could email them. ] The kind I need won't be in a showroom.
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I do. I have a website.
[ But sites like Craigslist are another matter. He doesn't buy anything secondhand. Truthfully, his knowledge of computers is quite specific - he knows how to use them for what he wants, and that's about it. This technology fascinates him, in part because it's all so foreign and strange. He's no expert with it. ]
You will still need to show me. I was serious about getting you what you want. Even if what you want is very strange.
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[ A pause and then a deep and long-suffering sigh. ] You have a website. Of course you do.
[ Adam's gaze is once more drawn to the car and then it soars to the little window about St. Agnes' where his laptop is. It would be easier, wouldn't it? To show Rafa and get him to make the arrangements, to get him out of Adam's life for good. It would be easier and yet showing someone like this his decrepit living space feels sickening. ]
What kind of website?
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Nothing your eyes would want to see. Unless you are less innocent than you seem.
[ Which is unlikely. Adam always seems tense. Which might be because Rafa keeps pushing his buttons, but he suspects that it's more than that. He smiles. ]
You know more of me than I do of you already. We should redress that balance, don't you think?
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Fine. I'll answer a question. And then you'll go away.
[ His hands get tucked tighter under his arms, his hoodie doing nothing to make him feel covered up and warm or safe. ] One question.
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You are afraid of me.
[ Adam would not be the first. But it is strange; he has not overtly threatened this one. Humans can be very tetchy when their lives are invaded. ]
I do not want a question. I want to come in, so that you can show me the car you desire. I will leave after that.
[ ...if you're lucky. ]
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[ He ignores the comment, ignores it like he'd ignored the bruises littering his skin for so many years. He is not afraid. He is just empty. ]
Ten minutes to show you the car and then you leave. And we never have to talk again. You can just park it here when you've got it. [ It's an ultimatum and one he does his best to be sure of if his sharp and jerking movements back to the church is anything to go by.
Adam doesn't look back either way, taking the steps up two at a time and moving towards his apartment. ]
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He stops. Ten minutes. It's not enough. He sighs. ]
So, I can come in?
[ How ridiculous that this must still be specified. All these years, and still these inconveniences annoy him. Humans never understand how safe they are in their homes. ]
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You can come in. [ He doesn't even realise, he just thinks it's another came considering how easy it is to step inside and turn. His apartment is bare, a single Ikea bedframe, a desk covered in books and school papers and empty soda cans, a bin turned upside down for a bedside table with a lamp on it. On his windowsill there is a Transformer action figure. It doesn't look lived in at all. ]
I'd offer you a drink but I don't have anything in. [ And he doesn't want to anyway. ]
no subject
That's better. He keeps his hands in his pockets, and he moves quickly up -
Into a room that's so bare, it takes him back centuries. Rafa stares at it, and remembers another room, equally bare, except that the beds had been stacked one on top of the other, and the bedside tables had been full of small drawers, and the light had come from candles. He blinks, glances at Adam, and without being asked goes to lounge back on the bed.
Even through that haze of memories, he finds himself smiling. ]
I will drink later. [ He pulls his legs up beneath him, sitting crosslegged on the bed. He looks comfortable enough to belong there. ] Why do you live alone? [ Another pause. ] It is a place of death. Did you know?
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[ He takes his desk chair, a rickety old thing he found at goodwill and turns to his laptop to start booting it up. It's as old as he is, or near enough and will take a good six out of those ten minutes. ]
Is it? [ He sounds like he doesn't care. ] It's better than most places.
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[ He can't quite place it. He doesn't know if there's a body - if there is, it's buried deep - but the scent permeates the walls here, as if death itself is a presence with them.
Rafa doesn't mind it. He's seen plenty of death, but he didn't think humans were fond of living around it. He watches Adam, eyes ticking between him and the laptop. Eventually, he leans back against the wall, and settles his hands in his lap. ]
Are you religious?
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[ God never wanted him and besides, after everything that happened in Cabeswater, after having to dig Noah up from his grave, knowing that Gansey will die, of course he doesn't. ]
Are you about to start preaching? Because the door's there. You should use it.
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[ Despite the fact that religious artefacts burn through his skin. Despite the fact that the ground outside had wanted to set him alight. Rafa lifts his shoulders. ]
But you live above a Church. I wondered if it meant something. Most humans do not live on hallowed ground.
[ And most vampires don't visit it by choice. Nikolai will have his head for doing this. ]
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[ His fingers tap out an unsteady tempo against his keyboard even as his laptop screen remains resolutely on the loading screen. Adam wouldn't have been able to afford the Aglionby dormitories and he refused to move into Monmouth with Gansey. It's only because Ronan knew some people that he managed to find here at all. ]
It doesn't mean anything.
[ Other than there was nowhere else for him. ]
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So instead, he drops his head back against the wall. ]
You said I could have one question.
Why did you not answer?
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[ He glances over. Rafa looks at home in his bed. It shouldn't upset him that he does. ]
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[ Rafa lifts an eyebrow, eyes staying resolutely on Adam's face. He's counting the freckles again. An impossible task. He'd thought so before, and it still doesn't stop him trying. ]
Why do you live alone?
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Because I needed to make it on my own.
[ Gansey comes over so often and tells him a place at Monmouth is still available, that he can come any day. But if Adam refused when his face was a map of bruises he can refuse now. ]
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God. ]
That is why you refused the car.
[ His voice is soft, understanding blooming in it at last. He even smiles a little, and closes his eyes while he waits. ]
I am sorry. Money makes you uncomfortable.
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I just want to have what I've worked for. Nothing more. [ Except he might work himself into the grave instead, with his three jobs and desire to pass everything in his classes with flying colours. ]
That car doesn't belong to me. I haven't done anything for it.
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I took what you worked for.
[ He takes a breath, and one eye opens just a fraction. Enough to see how Adam takes this. ]
It is not terrible to want for more. But I understand. You do not like to make things easy on yourself.
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