[ He flinches out of Rafa's touch, taking a step back against the gravelly dirt of the parking lot. He doesn't mean to and it's clear he's angry at himself for it the minute after it's done. He'd hoped he could stop cowing away from a touch one day. ]
Fine. I'll answer a question. And then you'll go away.
[ His hands get tucked tighter under his arms, his hoodie doing nothing to make him feel covered up and warm or safe. ] One question.
[ He ignores the comment, ignores it like he'd ignored the bruises littering his skin for so many years. He is not afraid. He is just empty. ]
Ten minutes to show you the car and then you leave. And we never have to talk again. You can just park it here when you've got it. [ It's an ultimatum and one he does his best to be sure of if his sharp and jerking movements back to the church is anything to go by.
Adam doesn't look back either way, taking the steps up two at a time and moving towards his apartment. ]
[ Rafa takes one step towards the building, and then another.
He stops. Ten minutes. It's not enough. He sighs. ]
So, I can come in?
[ How ridiculous that this must still be specified. All these years, and still these inconveniences annoy him. Humans never understand how safe they are in their homes. ]
[ Adam pauses on the stairs, his gaze sharp and dark in the dim light of the steps. Dust motes twirl and spin around him through the weak light of the lamppost outside shining through a dirty window. ]
You can come in. [ He doesn't even realise, he just thinks it's another came considering how easy it is to step inside and turn. His apartment is bare, a single Ikea bedframe, a desk covered in books and school papers and empty soda cans, a bin turned upside down for a bedside table with a lamp on it. On his windowsill there is a Transformer action figure. It doesn't look lived in at all. ]
I'd offer you a drink but I don't have anything in. [ And he doesn't want to anyway. ]
[ Rafa's smile is quick and fierce. Where before there had been a barrier, now there is none. He walks across the grass. As he does, his eyes flick to the Church. It's old, but the ground is still consecrated. He can feel it trying to burn through the soles of his shoes, and he quickens his step. Not enough to seem more than human, not tonight, but quick enough to take him hurriedly to Adam's stairs.
That's better. He keeps his hands in his pockets, and he moves quickly up -
Into a room that's so bare, it takes him back centuries. Rafa stares at it, and remembers another room, equally bare, except that the beds had been stacked one on top of the other, and the bedside tables had been full of small drawers, and the light had come from candles. He blinks, glances at Adam, and without being asked goes to lounge back on the bed.
Even through that haze of memories, he finds himself smiling. ]
I will drink later. [ He pulls his legs up beneath him, sitting crosslegged on the bed. He looks comfortable enough to belong there. ] Why do you live alone? [ Another pause. ] It is a place of death. Did you know?
[ With a dry and sarcastic edge. ] Make yourself at home, why don't you?
[ He takes his desk chair, a rickety old thing he found at goodwill and turns to his laptop to start booting it up. It's as old as he is, or near enough and will take a good six out of those ten minutes. ]
Is it? [ He sounds like he doesn't care. ] It's better than most places.
[ He can't quite place it. He doesn't know if there's a body - if there is, it's buried deep - but the scent permeates the walls here, as if death itself is a presence with them.
Rafa doesn't mind it. He's seen plenty of death, but he didn't think humans were fond of living around it. He watches Adam, eyes ticking between him and the laptop. Eventually, he leans back against the wall, and settles his hands in his lap. ]
[ God never wanted him and besides, after everything that happened in Cabeswater, after having to dig Noah up from his grave, knowing that Gansey will die, of course he doesn't. ]
Are you about to start preaching? Because the door's there. You should use it.
[ Despite the fact that religious artefacts burn through his skin. Despite the fact that the ground outside had wanted to set him alight. Rafa lifts his shoulders. ]
But you live above a Church. I wondered if it meant something. Most humans do not live on hallowed ground.
[ And most vampires don't visit it by choice. Nikolai will have his head for doing this. ]
[ His fingers tap out an unsteady tempo against his keyboard even as his laptop screen remains resolutely on the loading screen. Adam wouldn't have been able to afford the Aglionby dormitories and he refused to move into Monmouth with Gansey. It's only because Ronan knew some people that he managed to find here at all. ]
[ Rafa nods at first. He's still watching Adam. He's killed men in the time it's taking for that laptop to boot up, but he senses it was pique Adam's ire to mention that.
So instead, he drops his head back against the wall. ]
[ Rafa lifts an eyebrow, eyes staying resolutely on Adam's face. He's counting the freckles again. An impossible task. He'd thought so before, and it still doesn't stop him trying. ]
[ His jaw clenches, his gaze slides away. But there's no way to answer him and not have it be honest. ]
Because I needed to make it on my own.
[ Gansey comes over so often and tells him a place at Monmouth is still available, that he can come any day. But if Adam refused when his face was a map of bruises he can refuse now. ]
[ His shoulders hunch and his fingers move like scattered birds across the keyboard to type in his password. He doesn't look at Rafa. ]
I just want to have what I've worked for. Nothing more. [ Except he might work himself into the grave instead, with his three jobs and desire to pass everything in his classes with flying colours. ]
That car doesn't belong to me. I haven't done anything for it.
[ Rafa's eyes stay closed. His fingers tick against his lap. Adam's scent strengthens the longer they're here. It overpowers everything else, even the scent of death. He smells warm and human, despite the hint of magic. Rafa can hear the pulse of his blood, and imagines it moving that freckle. ]
I took what you worked for.
[ He takes a breath, and one eye opens just a fraction. Enough to see how Adam takes this. ]
It is not terrible to want for more. But I understand. You do not like to make things easy on yourself.
[ He glances over and catches the lazy but curious way he's being eyed. His face flushes. ] You're not from Henrietta. This town is full of people who get what they want because they were born in a certain place. I just want to prove that I can do it myself.
[ That he doesn't need handouts. Which is why he boots up Craigslist. ] Are you just going to lay there? [ Does he have to bring the laptop over. ]
The whole world is full of people like that. Where I am from, the opposite was true.
[ He waits, relaxing, and listening to Adam's keystrokes. They make a strange rhythm when combined with his heartbeat. It's almost soothing. But then Rafa always was soothed by the sound of a heart. The question opens his eyes again, and this time he smiles. ]
Unless you want me in your lap. [ He sounds like he means that, and he lifts an eyebrow. ] You only have to ask.
[ Heat floods his face again and he has to turn to the screen to avoid looking at Rafa. Though his ears are quite bright with embarrassment. ]
Jesus. [ He clicks and types again until he can find the post he bookmarked, a beaten old car that looks even worse than the one Rafa stole ... at least it's not a bicycle this time. ] Here. Come look at this.
[ Rafa watches that flush with a grin. He had Adam right. He's innocent, all right. And easy to tease.
He lets his eyes close again, until finally he's called to see what he came here to see. With a sigh, Rafa unfurls from the bed and comes over to lean over Adam's shoulder. The car on screen looks like it will fall apart the moment anyone drives it, and he looks at Adam askance. ]
You are not serious. That would not even need my help to go on fire.
[ Rafa is so close now that Adam can almost feel him and the curious wrongness he excudes. Where he expects human heat there is nothing but a chill and he has to hold in check his shiver. ]
[ When the car had been on fire. Though in fairness, Adam hadn't known that at the time.
Rafa crouches beside him, still looking at the screen. He reaches over Adam's hands to skate his fingers across the mousepad, zooming in the image. He bites his lip, and glances up at the boy. ]
You think you could fix it? It is worse than what I took, and I meant to give you better.
[ He can't exactly put space between him and Rafa without moving his chair away from the desk so instead he stares resolutely forward even as he's looked at. ]
That's not how this works. You can't show up with a car that costs three times my tuition. [ And he knows just how expensive that is. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Fine. I'll answer a question. And then you'll go away.
[ His hands get tucked tighter under his arms, his hoodie doing nothing to make him feel covered up and warm or safe. ] One question.
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You are afraid of me.
[ Adam would not be the first. But it is strange; he has not overtly threatened this one. Humans can be very tetchy when their lives are invaded. ]
I do not want a question. I want to come in, so that you can show me the car you desire. I will leave after that.
[ ...if you're lucky. ]
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[ He ignores the comment, ignores it like he'd ignored the bruises littering his skin for so many years. He is not afraid. He is just empty. ]
Ten minutes to show you the car and then you leave. And we never have to talk again. You can just park it here when you've got it. [ It's an ultimatum and one he does his best to be sure of if his sharp and jerking movements back to the church is anything to go by.
Adam doesn't look back either way, taking the steps up two at a time and moving towards his apartment. ]
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He stops. Ten minutes. It's not enough. He sighs. ]
So, I can come in?
[ How ridiculous that this must still be specified. All these years, and still these inconveniences annoy him. Humans never understand how safe they are in their homes. ]
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You can come in. [ He doesn't even realise, he just thinks it's another came considering how easy it is to step inside and turn. His apartment is bare, a single Ikea bedframe, a desk covered in books and school papers and empty soda cans, a bin turned upside down for a bedside table with a lamp on it. On his windowsill there is a Transformer action figure. It doesn't look lived in at all. ]
I'd offer you a drink but I don't have anything in. [ And he doesn't want to anyway. ]
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That's better. He keeps his hands in his pockets, and he moves quickly up -
Into a room that's so bare, it takes him back centuries. Rafa stares at it, and remembers another room, equally bare, except that the beds had been stacked one on top of the other, and the bedside tables had been full of small drawers, and the light had come from candles. He blinks, glances at Adam, and without being asked goes to lounge back on the bed.
Even through that haze of memories, he finds himself smiling. ]
I will drink later. [ He pulls his legs up beneath him, sitting crosslegged on the bed. He looks comfortable enough to belong there. ] Why do you live alone? [ Another pause. ] It is a place of death. Did you know?
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[ He takes his desk chair, a rickety old thing he found at goodwill and turns to his laptop to start booting it up. It's as old as he is, or near enough and will take a good six out of those ten minutes. ]
Is it? [ He sounds like he doesn't care. ] It's better than most places.
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[ He can't quite place it. He doesn't know if there's a body - if there is, it's buried deep - but the scent permeates the walls here, as if death itself is a presence with them.
Rafa doesn't mind it. He's seen plenty of death, but he didn't think humans were fond of living around it. He watches Adam, eyes ticking between him and the laptop. Eventually, he leans back against the wall, and settles his hands in his lap. ]
Are you religious?
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[ God never wanted him and besides, after everything that happened in Cabeswater, after having to dig Noah up from his grave, knowing that Gansey will die, of course he doesn't. ]
Are you about to start preaching? Because the door's there. You should use it.
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[ Despite the fact that religious artefacts burn through his skin. Despite the fact that the ground outside had wanted to set him alight. Rafa lifts his shoulders. ]
But you live above a Church. I wondered if it meant something. Most humans do not live on hallowed ground.
[ And most vampires don't visit it by choice. Nikolai will have his head for doing this. ]
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[ His fingers tap out an unsteady tempo against his keyboard even as his laptop screen remains resolutely on the loading screen. Adam wouldn't have been able to afford the Aglionby dormitories and he refused to move into Monmouth with Gansey. It's only because Ronan knew some people that he managed to find here at all. ]
It doesn't mean anything.
[ Other than there was nowhere else for him. ]
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So instead, he drops his head back against the wall. ]
You said I could have one question.
Why did you not answer?
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[ He glances over. Rafa looks at home in his bed. It shouldn't upset him that he does. ]
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[ Rafa lifts an eyebrow, eyes staying resolutely on Adam's face. He's counting the freckles again. An impossible task. He'd thought so before, and it still doesn't stop him trying. ]
Why do you live alone?
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Because I needed to make it on my own.
[ Gansey comes over so often and tells him a place at Monmouth is still available, that he can come any day. But if Adam refused when his face was a map of bruises he can refuse now. ]
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God. ]
That is why you refused the car.
[ His voice is soft, understanding blooming in it at last. He even smiles a little, and closes his eyes while he waits. ]
I am sorry. Money makes you uncomfortable.
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I just want to have what I've worked for. Nothing more. [ Except he might work himself into the grave instead, with his three jobs and desire to pass everything in his classes with flying colours. ]
That car doesn't belong to me. I haven't done anything for it.
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I took what you worked for.
[ He takes a breath, and one eye opens just a fraction. Enough to see how Adam takes this. ]
It is not terrible to want for more. But I understand. You do not like to make things easy on yourself.
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[ He glances over and catches the lazy but curious way he's being eyed. His face flushes. ] You're not from Henrietta. This town is full of people who get what they want because they were born in a certain place. I just want to prove that I can do it myself.
[ That he doesn't need handouts. Which is why he boots up Craigslist. ] Are you just going to lay there? [ Does he have to bring the laptop over. ]
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The whole world is full of people like that. Where I am from, the opposite was true.
[ He waits, relaxing, and listening to Adam's keystrokes. They make a strange rhythm when combined with his heartbeat. It's almost soothing. But then Rafa always was soothed by the sound of a heart. The question opens his eyes again, and this time he smiles. ]
Unless you want me in your lap. [ He sounds like he means that, and he lifts an eyebrow. ] You only have to ask.
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[ Heat floods his face again and he has to turn to the screen to avoid looking at Rafa. Though his ears are quite bright with embarrassment. ]
Jesus. [ He clicks and types again until he can find the post he bookmarked, a beaten old car that looks even worse than the one Rafa stole ... at least it's not a bicycle this time. ] Here. Come look at this.
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He lets his eyes close again, until finally he's called to see what he came here to see. With a sigh, Rafa unfurls from the bed and comes over to lean over Adam's shoulder. The car on screen looks like it will fall apart the moment anyone drives it, and he looks at Adam askance. ]
You are not serious. That would not even need my help to go on fire.
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[ Rafa is so close now that Adam can almost feel him and the curious wrongness he excudes. Where he expects human heat there is nothing but a chill and he has to hold in check his shiver. ]
I work at a mechanics. It'd be fine.
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[ When the car had been on fire. Though in fairness, Adam hadn't known that at the time.
Rafa crouches beside him, still looking at the screen. He reaches over Adam's hands to skate his fingers across the mousepad, zooming in the image. He bites his lip, and glances up at the boy. ]
You think you could fix it? It is worse than what I took, and I meant to give you better.
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That's not how this works. You can't show up with a car that costs three times my tuition. [ And he knows just how expensive that is. ]
It's fine. It just needs some care.
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