[ He shouldn't go to Erik as easily as he does, but his friend pulls him closer and Charles doesn't resist. His hand curls in Erik's shirt, his cheek presses to his shoulder. He lets out a weak, delirious little laugh, his whole body straining to be a little closer. ]
No, no. I'd hoped but --. [ But he'd been burnt too many times. By Erik, by the humans he sought so hard to protect. And yet here he is. ] Look at it, Erik. Look at this world with it's differences and it's beauty and tell me it's not worth it.
[ He leans back, chin tipped to meet his friend's eyes. ] We could have prospered here.
[ Could have. Like it's all said and done and wasted. ]
We still can.
[ Because Erik knows a second chance when he sees it. Charles and the kids and the CIA were his second chance. He isn't sorry that he used it for revenge; Shaw deserved to die. But he is sorry for the path it lead him down, which years down the road seemed less and less fruitful but it was hard to get some perspective.
And yet here he is, heart in his throat, seizing one day where none of that should be considered. ]
[ He smiles and it's soft and tinged with sadness. ]
I would hope so, because I'm ultimately selfish.
[ He can't help himself, the way his hand flattens against Erik's chest, shifting until he can feel his heartbeat by touch alone. ] You know, don't you? How I felt? Were we born in a different time, a different world, well ... [ Glancing to the screen where two men are hugging and kissing. ] That could have been us. You and I could have been planning a wedding. Or well, not so much as planning as running away the minute they announced it.
[ Well, okay. They have slightly more irreparable differences and obstacles getting in the way despite both being male and a few decades too early. Even if they were born in the 80s-- and that makes Erik pause because the 80s aren't even a thought to him yet-- then they would've fought, broken up, and probably be with other people.
Or standing here, celebrating together, rethinking a few things in their life.
But he's right, this wasn't an option before. It never even crossed Erik's mind, that they wouldn't have to settle for a life of secrecy from everyone else and especially from Raven. It never even crossed his mind they'd be able to hold hands in public, or go on a date, or lie together on a chair in the study without fear of one of the others interrupting them.
He puts his arm around Charles and guides him back, towards a tiny New York balcony that SHIELD has graciously budgeted for. ]
You would want that? Marrying me, after all we've done?
[ He lets Erik touch him and for the first time in a long time it hurts, but in something of a sweet way. Charles fingers curl around the iron railing of the balcony, looking down into the street below. People mill about, hand in hand, regardless of race or age or sexual desire and it's beautiful, it really is. If he opens his mind a little he can feel them, hopes and dreams and wishes all tangled up into something beautiful. ]
Do we deserve it? [ He tips his head a little, towards Erik, blue eyes thoughtful but warm. He's overwhelmed. ] After all we've done, being so pigheaded all the time. Do you imagine we should be allowed to be happy?
[ Charles had wanted that for Erik from the minute they met, from the very second his hands had curled around the other man and pulled him upwards. His whole life had narrowed down to it, to yes, save this one. It was hard to give that up. ]
[ No. The answer has always been no, you don't deserve happiness. You personally have done something so wrong that you need to fight to the death for your right to exist. Always having to look over his shoulder, always having to be one step ahead. There was a short fleeting time he thought he'd settle down, start the school with Charles, let himself have someone else watch his back for a little bit.
He had that in his hands and he passed.
And there Charles is, offering it again, with big blue eyes so clear Erik can see his heart full to bursting underneath.
He takes a second to look below at the people walking hand-in-hand in public: unashamed, happy, filled with pride at who they are and how they were born and unafraid to celebrate their differences instead of pretending they don't exist or they're something to fear. He has everything he wants out of life in his hands, asking for him to decide again. ]
Yes.
[ It barely sounds like his voice. It's so simple, but so definite and so heavy. ]
Yes, I do.
[ The second time he says it, it's so light it makes him feel like he's floating, so he tips Charles's chin and anchors himself on his soft, waiting lips. Kissing him for the first time in 2015, the first time out in the open, feels like it's the first time at all, leaving him buzzing and breathless. He pulls away but stays close, resting his hands on either side of Charles's face, quietly basking in the warmth of his proximity. ]
[ His expression is a little dazed at the kiss, the temptation to lick his lips as though he could taste Erik there too strong. Between his friend and the iron railing now at his back, Charles should feel trapped. They had fought for so long after all and this could be a cruel trick. But he doesn't feel like he should try to read him. In fact he'd be quite happy to live in the fantasy. But he doubts it is, not with Erik's expression looking so open and sweet, not with his hands on his face, rough but warm.
Charles tips his chin to catch more of Erik's palm, the curve of his smile inching up little by little. He looks like the young boy he did when they first met, bursting with life and love and energy. ]
All right then, love? What about it? Shall we get hitched?
[ Erik was really just hoping for getting back together. Like start over, go on a date, fall into bed, walk the High Line and kiss under the (non-existent, let's be real, it's NYC) starlight.
Charles knows all about him, knows all his flaws and his mistakes and has had his heart and spine broken by him before. But he's still offering to marry him, dive headfirst without looking back. But Charles has never done things in halves and neither has Erik, electing instead to deal with consequences after the fact.
So he lets his lips curl, presses his wire-thin grin to Charles's mouth, and gathers him up in his arms. ]
Only if you're the one who lets SHIELD know we're going to go a little over our budget.
[ Just like that, they're both in their early thirties again, young and carefree and happy. ]
[ He laughs, his own arms winding around Erik's neck and his blue eyes crinkling at the corner. ] Christ, if I don't exist in this world neither does my bank account. [ Pulling a face. ] How about Vegas? [ Maybe too tainted. It isn't like there's a Hellfire Club here but they can remember Moira's files. ] Or, ooh, Gretna Green. I always fancied that. Just buggering off on the train and getting married.
[ Plus, they can get drunk on their way. How long has it been since he got good and properly pissed? Probably when they were on the roadtrip together. It feels like several lifetimes ago. ]
Actually, what am I even doing? I need this first. [ Pressing closer, he winds his fingers through the hair at the nape of Erik's neck and slides his mouth against the other man's. It's simple and easy and Charles is a little bit of a terror and so it's not long before he's teasing him into parting his lips. ]
[ He's about to protest when Charles claims him for a kiss instead, and how can he argue when his lips are soft and searching? Erik reels him in like a man parched for water, kisses him like he hasn't had a drop to drink for days. He slides a hand up Charles's shirt, meaning to push him away far enough to talk but resting it on his stomach instead, fingers splayed.
It's not like he wouldn't mind marrying Charles in Vegas, or Gretna Green, or at city hall, or have his entire reception revolve around getting absolutely shitfaced. But-- ]
We can't get married in Vegas. I want people to be there. I want the whole world to see.
[ He whispers this against Charles's lips with his eyes trained there, flicking up for a moment to convey that he's serious. He's already been married once, barely as an adult, shyly trying to navigate his place in the world. He doesn't want that again, he doesn't even want to be reminded of it. ]
The whole world doesn't even know us, Erik. [ He's smiling a little though, voice teasing and his expression sweet and dazed. The kisses that they keep trading between them have gone to his head faster than a g&t might, his stomach muscles jumping underneath his fingertips.
And then the bank comment comes and Charles laughs a little, thwapping him with the palm of his hand on the shoulder. ] No crime, I don't want to be a prison wife darling. [ He leans a little closer, enough that he's taunting Erik with the brush of his lips and the sweep of his eyelashes. ]
But we can work something out. We'll be doing a lot of that in the future. When we're married.
Oh? Only after the wedding? Saving yourself for marriage?
[ He smiles thinking about what a ridiculous and untrue thought that is, having very much thoroughly enjoyed first-hand proof that Charles did not, in fact, wait. It was something that Erik's missed over the years-- the actual sex, sure, but mostly the feeling it always imparted with him. He had always felt so strongly about Charles, loved him until he couldn't stand it anymore, until it spilled out of him in the form of kisses and wandering hands and whispers of sweet nothings. ]
I'll take out a loan and pay it back little by little.
[ Yeah, and then they'll get a little house with a white picket fence and two and a half kids and a dog. Their life might never be storybook perfection, but that doesn't mean they have to settle for less than perfect for them. ]
I'm serious.
[ Then he presses a quick kiss to Charles's temple, and pulls away from him to head back inside. He still has breakfast to make, and laundry to do, and wondering which of those chores to push off so he can run downstairs to the bodega to pick up the raunchiest-sounding lubricant for whenever he submits his receipts to SHIELD. ]
[ A soft snort of laughter. ] Don't you think I could? [ The answer is a resounding no. Charles has spent far too many years confined to a chair, his heart sick with sadness and longing for a life he once had. Now he's here, he's standing, he's standing next to the man he has loved for so very long that there was no more room for anything else. If he can wrap his legs around that waist of Erik's any time soon then he'll do it. ]
Really? [ He smiles and lets himself be pulled back in to the apartment, his body leaning into Erik's space in a way that is at once familiar and strange. What difference a small moment can make, how much can it change? ] Well.
[ A pause. ] We'll have to get jobs. I'm not even a Professor here.
[ It's going to be hard to do chores or to go down to the corner store with Charles wrapped around his waist, but Erik can't even bring himself to be upset about it in any capacity, peppering kisses all over Charles's face and jaw and neck. An arm cradled around his back for support, Erik's got the other one acting like a shelf, bookending Charles's ass with his hand and giving it a light pinch. ]
I'm sure SHIELD could doctor your credentials. We can't take out student loans just to put you back through classes you could teach.
And me, maybe I'll become a locksmith.
A junkyard car crusher?
[ He could do something that involves his other varied skills-- translation, cooking, hell let's not lie he could model or something. But it would be such a shame in this new world not to use his powers day in and day out. To have people rely on them for his work, to have people want him to use them.
Erik lowers them onto the couch, body covering Charles and stealing a few kisses in the meantime. ]
[ Erik presses him to the cushions on the couch and Charles is a ridiculous clinging creature, his knees pressing to Erik's waist, his hands curling in his hair and against the nape of his neck. ]
Mm. I suppose they could. And with a little ... convincing I could actually do what I started out to do. [ A little smirk curling at the corners of his mouth before he flutters his eyelashes. ] What do you say? Being the husband to a fussy old professor?
[ He could be a model. That's true. ] Oh, you could build a world, sweetheart.
[ Certainly, it's better than destroying one. And even he knows there are no victors in war-- he just wanted to come out on top. But peace is a much better alternative, one that he would have prayed for had he known it was possible. Had he thought even for one moment that it was possible.
He lifts Charles's shirt and slides down his body, pressing hot kisses to his stomach and chest, like he wants to explore every single inch of his skin. And he does, now that he's been promised many years to do it, he wants to take advantage of it. Now that Charles's legs are completely in operation, he wants to take advantage of those, too. ]
You're not old. Fussy, but not old.
[ But brilliant and focused and so, so adorable. Yes, Erik wouldn't have a problem with this chosen profession. ]
[ The action elicits a small and surprised purr of sound from Charles, who's hands act of their own accord and let their fingers bury into his friend's hair. He squirms a little, delighted and so full of affection that it crashes from him in waves, joy pushing up at the edges of Erik in undeniable fashion. ]
Not any more. [ How old he'd thought himself at this age originally, how wise and tired. And now here he is again and it's like a literal weight has been dropped from his shoulders. He feels as light as a feather, as soft as air. He feels free. ]
Come here, I want to kiss you again. [ Tugging on Erik's hair and then collar, firmly but questioning. ] Why are we doing anything but kissing, that's the question.
[ Erik lets himself be pulled up and kissed, only halted by the ever-present grin on his face that makes it a little hard to do more than peck, not that it matters as he pulls up to breathe and teasingly rocks his hips forward. His lips at Charles's ear, he whispers: ]
Because it's been a long time since I've been able to pleasure you with my mouth and I think you've missed me.
[ Certainly, in the time that they've been apart, Erik's had a multitude of brief lovers, but he imagines Charles's list is much shorter and he doesn't suppose he's made much use of the new-found sensations in his lower body all that much. Or maybe he has and kept very quiet, who knows. It doesn't matter, Erik thinks, idly fondling Charles's chest. He can't remember if he was in love with his mind or in lust with his body first, he just knows both are some unshakeable feeling, though not for lack of trying. ]
[ It's far too easy for him to properly wrap his legs around Erik, grinning devilishly as he does so. There's such freedom in the way he moves, such novelty in it. Perhaps he won't be able to stop himself now, won't be able to stop tangling their limbs up in each other. He meets the rocking of Erik's hips with a surge of his own, a burst of breath getting muffled against his lover's smiling mouth. ]
Oh, I have. [ Kissing along the curve of Erik's jaw, dragging his teeth where his lips have been. Charles is a mess of feeling that pushes alongside his mind the same way his fingers leave their imprint behind. ] Every day, every week, every month. [ Biting at his earlobe and tugging. ] There is no one quite as -- as -- much as you are to me, Erik.
[ He doesn't have the words, not really. Instead he runs his socked foot against the back of Erik's calf and noses into his hair to kiss his temple. ]
[ He knows, like deep down he thinks he's known that all along they'd wind up like this or their egos would have kept them from enjoying it. But he knows that every bit as much as Charles means to him, he means to Charles. It's... frightening, really, because he doesn't allow vulnerabilities. He was young once and cut them all off as weaknesses lest they be used against him. They were. Charles was shot, wasn't he? And Erik left mostly in protest against the humans but partially because he knew that Charles would never come with him and that he would be better off not having to be the thing that Erik always wanted to protect but with a slip-up would hurt or injure or kill.
A part of him still feels that way, that someday Erik-the-monster will take over Erik-the-man. That's probably why he hangs out with Bruce and Natasha all the time. It's something Charles has always accepted about Erik but never truly understood. Sympathized but couldn't empathize.
It's why Erik's glad that SHIELD is here, a preventative measure so that this can happen. So that they can be free. Take their youth back, their second chance, fully divulge these little things they've been holding back for so long from each other and from themselves, both of them knowing anyway. ]
I know.
[ And he very unpoetically smushes his mouth onto Charles's cheek, completely without finesse like he hasn't already perfected the art of kissing during their time together. ]
[ He laughs at the innocent and enthusiastic way Erik's mouth finds his cheek but the minute he speaks again he feels his breath catch and his chest constrict. He turns to his side to find his lover's mouth, kiss him in an unhurried but loving way. ]
I felt it the minute I felt you. You were like a flare inside of my mind. I don't think I had any choice but to love you. [ Fingers in his hair and his forehead pressing against Erik's. ] The world realigned. My whole axis changed. You know that, don't you? That no matter what happened between us, no matter who we were, or how angry we might have been, I was always turned towards you.
[ He lets his voice fall silent, instead choosing to run his hands along the shape of Erik's back, over the notches in his spine and the scars on his skin. It's almost innocent and reverent until his palms skate over the waistband of his trousers and squeeze his arse. Were they having a moment? Probably. But he has missed being able to do that. ]
Mm. I've missed you. [ Teasingly. ] You too, Erik.
[ He laughs at that, full of mirth and happiness, just... pure joy, relief. He sprinkles generous kisses on Charles's cheek, holding his face, letting go only to slip his shirt up and over his head. Clingy fabric, it wasn't hiding a lot. He must've gotten it from Steve's closet. ]
You've always been a little obsessed with this body.
[ Don't think he didn't notice that full-body hug out of the water, all the intermittent touching even before Erik knew Charles was interested, and then those obvious signs that he didn't have to be a telepath to read. As closed-off as he was, he'd always known too. Someday.
And yet in his wildest dreams he'd never thought this day would come. ]
I've missed...
[ Lightly, he pinches Charles in the thigh. Just hard enough for him to feel it. ]
Can you blame me? Your body was built to be worshipped, darling. [ It's ridiculous, he is ridiculous, posh little accent purring out words that he hasn't felt let alone said in so very long. ] I took one look at your broad shoulders and atrociously trim waist and knew that.
[ He tips his head when Erik trails off, about to question him when the pinch comes sharp and lively. Charles makes a sound that is more indecent than anything he's done so far, his hips jumping reflexively to slam against Erik's. He bites his lip and lets his head fall back, baring his throat. ]
Christ.
[ Because it is so simple and yet. He still wants to run his hands over skin he hasn't felt in so long. Actually, he wants Erik to do it for him. ] The first time you left this apartment I got absolutely stark naked. [ He sounds gravelly and breathless now, squirming against Erik's body until he can fit right, until he can heinously roll his clothed erection against him. ] I hadn't really believed it. Not until I could touch myself properly. It was -- overwhelming.
[ Even if they had been on the outs, for Charles to have his sensation back, Erik wouldn't have denied him anything. It was something he stole from Charles without meaning to, something he was more than glad for him to have back. To see him walking, to hear him padding about-- angrily, messily, waking Erik up in the morning-- was so, so touching.
Erik palms Charles through his pants, lips latching onto the pulse in his neck. He's the most gorgeous, precious thing. The only one who's ever accepted all of Erik for who he is, the only one who calls him out on his bullshit and the only one who would stick by him through it anyway. He used to be annoyed by it, what seemed like a need to fix Erik, like he was some pet project. Like Alex and Hank and Sean had all been imperfect and they had too needed guidance, needed tinkering. But Erik had needed the help, had needed for Charles to wrap arms around him, to make him feel part of something again.
And Erik knows he needs to help Charles. ]
Tell me what you want.
[ He lifts up just to look him in the eye through heavy, dark lids, heel of his palm pressing down. ]
[ He'd thought about it, in the moments where he was torn between anger and want, thought about pushing Erik up against the nearest wall and attacking his mouth. Unfortunately there still remains something of a hopeless and helpless romantic inside of him. And he can't deny that it's better this way, that when Erik palms him through his trousers he feels it all the way to his toes. He moans a little, his heels digging into the couch cushions so he can push up against that touch. ]
I want so many things, darling. Unfortunately I doubt SHIELD will have stocked the medicine cabinet. A romp between old enemies might not have been their first port of call.
[ He leans in, the whisper of a kiss over Erik's cheek, his hands dipping to his spine where fingers edge under the fabric of his waistband. ] I'm sure we'll think of something.
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No, no. I'd hoped but --. [ But he'd been burnt too many times. By Erik, by the humans he sought so hard to protect. And yet here he is. ] Look at it, Erik. Look at this world with it's differences and it's beauty and tell me it's not worth it.
[ He leans back, chin tipped to meet his friend's eyes. ] We could have prospered here.
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We still can.
[ Because Erik knows a second chance when he sees it. Charles and the kids and the CIA were his second chance. He isn't sorry that he used it for revenge; Shaw deserved to die. But he is sorry for the path it lead him down, which years down the road seemed less and less fruitful but it was hard to get some perspective.
And yet here he is, heart in his throat, seizing one day where none of that should be considered. ]
Don't you think you deserve it?
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I would hope so, because I'm ultimately selfish.
[ He can't help himself, the way his hand flattens against Erik's chest, shifting until he can feel his heartbeat by touch alone. ] You know, don't you? How I felt? Were we born in a different time, a different world, well ... [ Glancing to the screen where two men are hugging and kissing. ] That could have been us. You and I could have been planning a wedding. Or well, not so much as planning as running away the minute they announced it.
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Or standing here, celebrating together, rethinking a few things in their life.
But he's right, this wasn't an option before. It never even crossed Erik's mind, that they wouldn't have to settle for a life of secrecy from everyone else and especially from Raven. It never even crossed his mind they'd be able to hold hands in public, or go on a date, or lie together on a chair in the study without fear of one of the others interrupting them.
He puts his arm around Charles and guides him back, towards a tiny New York balcony that SHIELD has graciously budgeted for. ]
You would want that? Marrying me, after all we've done?
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Do we deserve it? [ He tips his head a little, towards Erik, blue eyes thoughtful but warm. He's overwhelmed. ] After all we've done, being so pigheaded all the time. Do you imagine we should be allowed to be happy?
[ Charles had wanted that for Erik from the minute they met, from the very second his hands had curled around the other man and pulled him upwards. His whole life had narrowed down to it, to yes, save this one. It was hard to give that up. ]
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He had that in his hands and he passed.
And there Charles is, offering it again, with big blue eyes so clear Erik can see his heart full to bursting underneath.
He takes a second to look below at the people walking hand-in-hand in public: unashamed, happy, filled with pride at who they are and how they were born and unafraid to celebrate their differences instead of pretending they don't exist or they're something to fear. He has everything he wants out of life in his hands, asking for him to decide again. ]
Yes.
[ It barely sounds like his voice. It's so simple, but so definite and so heavy. ]
Yes, I do.
[ The second time he says it, it's so light it makes him feel like he's floating, so he tips Charles's chin and anchors himself on his soft, waiting lips. Kissing him for the first time in 2015, the first time out in the open, feels like it's the first time at all, leaving him buzzing and breathless. He pulls away but stays close, resting his hands on either side of Charles's face, quietly basking in the warmth of his proximity. ]
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[ His expression is a little dazed at the kiss, the temptation to lick his lips as though he could taste Erik there too strong. Between his friend and the iron railing now at his back, Charles should feel trapped. They had fought for so long after all and this could be a cruel trick. But he doesn't feel like he should try to read him. In fact he'd be quite happy to live in the fantasy. But he doubts it is, not with Erik's expression looking so open and sweet, not with his hands on his face, rough but warm.
Charles tips his chin to catch more of Erik's palm, the curve of his smile inching up little by little. He looks like the young boy he did when they first met, bursting with life and love and energy. ]
All right then, love? What about it? Shall we get hitched?
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Charles knows all about him, knows all his flaws and his mistakes and has had his heart and spine broken by him before. But he's still offering to marry him, dive headfirst without looking back. But Charles has never done things in halves and neither has Erik, electing instead to deal with consequences after the fact.
So he lets his lips curl, presses his wire-thin grin to Charles's mouth, and gathers him up in his arms. ]
Only if you're the one who lets SHIELD know we're going to go a little over our budget.
[ Just like that, they're both in their early thirties again, young and carefree and happy. ]
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[ Plus, they can get drunk on their way. How long has it been since he got good and properly pissed? Probably when they were on the roadtrip together. It feels like several lifetimes ago. ]
Actually, what am I even doing? I need this first. [ Pressing closer, he winds his fingers through the hair at the nape of Erik's neck and slides his mouth against the other man's. It's simple and easy and Charles is a little bit of a terror and so it's not long before he's teasing him into parting his lips. ]
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It's not like he wouldn't mind marrying Charles in Vegas, or Gretna Green, or at city hall, or have his entire reception revolve around getting absolutely shitfaced. But-- ]
We can't get married in Vegas. I want people to be there. I want the whole world to see.
[ He whispers this against Charles's lips with his eyes trained there, flicking up for a moment to convey that he's serious. He's already been married once, barely as an adult, shyly trying to navigate his place in the world. He doesn't want that again, he doesn't even want to be reminded of it. ]
I can always rob a bank.
[ That's a joke, Charles. That's a joke. ]
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And then the bank comment comes and Charles laughs a little, thwapping him with the palm of his hand on the shoulder. ] No crime, I don't want to be a prison wife darling. [ He leans a little closer, enough that he's taunting Erik with the brush of his lips and the sweep of his eyelashes. ]
But we can work something out. We'll be doing a lot of that in the future. When we're married.
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[ He smiles thinking about what a ridiculous and untrue thought that is, having very much thoroughly enjoyed first-hand proof that Charles did not, in fact, wait. It was something that Erik's missed over the years-- the actual sex, sure, but mostly the feeling it always imparted with him. He had always felt so strongly about Charles, loved him until he couldn't stand it anymore, until it spilled out of him in the form of kisses and wandering hands and whispers of sweet nothings. ]
I'll take out a loan and pay it back little by little.
[ Yeah, and then they'll get a little house with a white picket fence and two and a half kids and a dog. Their life might never be storybook perfection, but that doesn't mean they have to settle for less than perfect for them. ]
I'm serious.
[ Then he presses a quick kiss to Charles's temple, and pulls away from him to head back inside. He still has breakfast to make, and laundry to do, and wondering which of those chores to push off so he can run downstairs to the bodega to pick up the raunchiest-sounding lubricant for whenever he submits his receipts to SHIELD. ]
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Really? [ He smiles and lets himself be pulled back in to the apartment, his body leaning into Erik's space in a way that is at once familiar and strange. What difference a small moment can make, how much can it change? ] Well.
[ A pause. ] We'll have to get jobs. I'm not even a Professor here.
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I'm sure SHIELD could doctor your credentials. We can't take out student loans just to put you back through classes you could teach.
And me, maybe I'll become a locksmith.
A junkyard car crusher?
[ He could do something that involves his other varied skills-- translation, cooking, hell let's not lie he could model or something. But it would be such a shame in this new world not to use his powers day in and day out. To have people rely on them for his work, to have people want him to use them.
Erik lowers them onto the couch, body covering Charles and stealing a few kisses in the meantime. ]
I could make skyscrapers.
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Mm. I suppose they could. And with a little ... convincing I could actually do what I started out to do. [ A little smirk curling at the corners of his mouth before he flutters his eyelashes. ] What do you say? Being the husband to a fussy old professor?
[ He could be a model. That's true. ] Oh, you could build a world, sweetheart.
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He lifts Charles's shirt and slides down his body, pressing hot kisses to his stomach and chest, like he wants to explore every single inch of his skin. And he does, now that he's been promised many years to do it, he wants to take advantage of it. Now that Charles's legs are completely in operation, he wants to take advantage of those, too. ]
You're not old. Fussy, but not old.
[ But brilliant and focused and so, so adorable. Yes, Erik wouldn't have a problem with this chosen profession. ]
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Not any more. [ How old he'd thought himself at this age originally, how wise and tired. And now here he is again and it's like a literal weight has been dropped from his shoulders. He feels as light as a feather, as soft as air. He feels free. ]
Come here, I want to kiss you again. [ Tugging on Erik's hair and then collar, firmly but questioning. ] Why are we doing anything but kissing, that's the question.
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Because it's been a long time since I've been able to pleasure you with my mouth and I think you've missed me.
[ Certainly, in the time that they've been apart, Erik's had a multitude of brief lovers, but he imagines Charles's list is much shorter and he doesn't suppose he's made much use of the new-found sensations in his lower body all that much. Or maybe he has and kept very quiet, who knows. It doesn't matter, Erik thinks, idly fondling Charles's chest. He can't remember if he was in love with his mind or in lust with his body first, he just knows both are some unshakeable feeling, though not for lack of trying. ]
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Oh, I have. [ Kissing along the curve of Erik's jaw, dragging his teeth where his lips have been. Charles is a mess of feeling that pushes alongside his mind the same way his fingers leave their imprint behind. ] Every day, every week, every month. [ Biting at his earlobe and tugging. ] There is no one quite as -- as -- much as you are to me, Erik.
[ He doesn't have the words, not really. Instead he runs his socked foot against the back of Erik's calf and noses into his hair to kiss his temple. ]
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A part of him still feels that way, that someday Erik-the-monster will take over Erik-the-man. That's probably why he hangs out with Bruce and Natasha all the time. It's something Charles has always accepted about Erik but never truly understood. Sympathized but couldn't empathize.
It's why Erik's glad that SHIELD is here, a preventative measure so that this can happen. So that they can be free. Take their youth back, their second chance, fully divulge these little things they've been holding back for so long from each other and from themselves, both of them knowing anyway. ]
I know.
[ And he very unpoetically smushes his mouth onto Charles's cheek, completely without finesse like he hasn't already perfected the art of kissing during their time together. ]
I love you too. Ever since you asked me to stay.
[ Why else would he have stayed? ]
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I felt it the minute I felt you. You were like a flare inside of my mind. I don't think I had any choice but to love you. [ Fingers in his hair and his forehead pressing against Erik's. ] The world realigned. My whole axis changed. You know that, don't you? That no matter what happened between us, no matter who we were, or how angry we might have been, I was always turned towards you.
[ He lets his voice fall silent, instead choosing to run his hands along the shape of Erik's back, over the notches in his spine and the scars on his skin. It's almost innocent and reverent until his palms skate over the waistband of his trousers and squeeze his arse. Were they having a moment? Probably. But he has missed being able to do that. ]
Mm. I've missed you. [ Teasingly. ] You too, Erik.
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You've always been a little obsessed with this body.
[ Don't think he didn't notice that full-body hug out of the water, all the intermittent touching even before Erik knew Charles was interested, and then those obvious signs that he didn't have to be a telepath to read. As closed-off as he was, he'd always known too. Someday.
And yet in his wildest dreams he'd never thought this day would come. ]
I've missed...
[ Lightly, he pinches Charles in the thigh. Just hard enough for him to feel it. ]
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[ He tips his head when Erik trails off, about to question him when the pinch comes sharp and lively. Charles makes a sound that is more indecent than anything he's done so far, his hips jumping reflexively to slam against Erik's. He bites his lip and lets his head fall back, baring his throat. ]
Christ.
[ Because it is so simple and yet. He still wants to run his hands over skin he hasn't felt in so long. Actually, he wants Erik to do it for him. ] The first time you left this apartment I got absolutely stark naked. [ He sounds gravelly and breathless now, squirming against Erik's body until he can fit right, until he can heinously roll his clothed erection against him. ] I hadn't really believed it. Not until I could touch myself properly. It was -- overwhelming.
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[ Even if they had been on the outs, for Charles to have his sensation back, Erik wouldn't have denied him anything. It was something he stole from Charles without meaning to, something he was more than glad for him to have back. To see him walking, to hear him padding about-- angrily, messily, waking Erik up in the morning-- was so, so touching.
Erik palms Charles through his pants, lips latching onto the pulse in his neck. He's the most gorgeous, precious thing. The only one who's ever accepted all of Erik for who he is, the only one who calls him out on his bullshit and the only one who would stick by him through it anyway. He used to be annoyed by it, what seemed like a need to fix Erik, like he was some pet project. Like Alex and Hank and Sean had all been imperfect and they had too needed guidance, needed tinkering. But Erik had needed the help, had needed for Charles to wrap arms around him, to make him feel part of something again.
And Erik knows he needs to help Charles. ]
Tell me what you want.
[ He lifts up just to look him in the eye through heavy, dark lids, heel of his palm pressing down. ]
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[ He'd thought about it, in the moments where he was torn between anger and want, thought about pushing Erik up against the nearest wall and attacking his mouth. Unfortunately there still remains something of a hopeless and helpless romantic inside of him. And he can't deny that it's better this way, that when Erik palms him through his trousers he feels it all the way to his toes. He moans a little, his heels digging into the couch cushions so he can push up against that touch. ]
I want so many things, darling. Unfortunately I doubt SHIELD will have stocked the medicine cabinet. A romp between old enemies might not have been their first port of call.
[ He leans in, the whisper of a kiss over Erik's cheek, his hands dipping to his spine where fingers edge under the fabric of his waistband. ] I'm sure we'll think of something.
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