[ There's a cramp in her foot and a fly buzzing fitfully at the window, wings thrown against an iron frame that lets the light from outside blast across the carpet in zig-zag patterns. Sometimes the noise stops and the pain moves to an odd tingling. Sometimes she has to shake her food and the bzz-bzz-bzz starts up again. She's only vaguely aware of these things though, too busy scribbling away in the relative quiet of Jace's room.
Clary's been drawing him for at least ninety minutes now. He's been asleep for eighty of them.
She's lying on her stomach across the length of his bed, graphite smudged against her fingers and cheek where she'd rubbed at her face. Her sketchbook is strewn in front of her and every time she leans too hard her pencils do their best to roll away. It would be frustrating if she didn't feel so peaceful. And it is peaceful. She's definitely not used to that. She's not used to being allowed these moments alone with him, where she can do her best to capture the vulnerable fan of his eyelashes on paper, where she can look and not feel like a thorn is being pushed into her gut. It's been weeks since they found out the truth but she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it, not really. She spent too long hurting from it.
She's smiling to herself when she curves the wrong way with her drawing hand, spare graphite finally breaking free from her hold of paper and blankets. It rolls off onto the carpet and Clary sighs a little, sparing Jace a glance before she rolls to her left to reach for it. Of course that's when she sees a very fluffy tail making it's way towards the window. Clary narrows her eyes and tries to wave at Church, knowing exactly what he's about to do. ]
Church! [ Her voice is a whisper as she shifts her body closer to the edge to see if she can distract him by petting him. Inch by inch she reaches out. And okay, so she looks like she's trying to slither off the bed by now, one hand pressed to the carpet to hold her up, the other stretching as far as she can. But she's so close and Jace is asleep. Clary doesn't want to wake him. ] Church don't.
[ Church has other ideas though. And he's faster than Clary ( everyone is in the Institute, even the pets ) but not as light on his feet. When he jumps his paws catch on the edge of some dusty book and sends it crashing to the floor. Instinctively Clary tries to grab either him or it and loses her balance entirely. Between her thumping off the bed into an ungainly heap and Church's offended mrrrow there's no way a normal human being could stay unconscious, let alone a shadowhunter.
She sighs and rolls onto her back, staring at the ceiling. ] The ground can swallow me up now.
Hmm. [ There's a deep breath and then a slow exhale. ] You know I'd have no choice but to fall through it after you.
[ Jace's voice is groggy and low as he pretty much comes fully awake, no thanks to crashing books and annoying cats. Church has been a staple of the Clave, and for as long as he remembers, there's never been a day that passed when he hasn't seen that cat do something mildly irritating, and then wished it would run off and get lost only to worry with the others when he did get himself into trouble.
Cats. Such dumb creatures.
He rolls over onto his side and slowly opens his eyes, mouth formed into a crooked, one-sided smirk, glancing down at Clary on the floor.
[ She can't help the flutter in her chest when he first speaks, knowing that now the two of them are allowed to have this kind of emotion for each other. There's no one telling them no ( well, except her mom but it's probably in the mom handbook ) and no one saying it's wrong. She can have butterflies if she wants them and she's definitely got them. ]
But then we would both be trapped in my pit of shame and you can't get take-out from there. The pit of shame is for when you're cutting yourself off from the world because it's the only way. It's a one person pit. Very small, very dark.
[ She doesn't bother sitting up, instead flinging her arms over her face and groaning. ] I was trying to stop Church from waking you. [ Peeking out from under her elbow. ] Go back to sleep so I can pretend it was a crazy dream.
Clary. Has anyone ever told you you have a flare for the dramatic?
[ This coming from the King of Dramatic, so you know, it's somehow only fitting that Clary's right there alongside him. His smirk slowly melts into something a little more fond, softening at the edges. He shifts so he can sit up this time. Sleep time is definitely over, but so long as Clary's around, then he honestly prefers it that way. ]
I think I'm beyond sleep now.
[ He stretches, yawns, then gestures to the empty space next to him. ]
[ Clary's tone is teasing and light as she uncovers her face and scoots up on to her knees. For a moment she just rests there, pausing to look at him and the way his hair is sleep-mussed, the pillow creases on his cheek. He's so beautiful that sometimes it hurts, like a balloon expanding inside of her chest and pressing against her ribs. But it's so easy to shake it off when he smiles because that's when she knows she belongs.
Climbing to her feet, she makes sure to at least move the half a dozen unfinished drawings she'd left behind in her wake before she takes the place beside Jace. She twists so she can look at him, her legs tucking underneath her and her hand coming up to smooth over his hair. ] I'm still sorry about waking you.
Hmm. Think nothing of it. I've had more than enough sleep by now.
[ Jace allows himself to revel in the feel of her touch against him because after so long of being deprived of it, it's a little like an addiction and he'll happily drink it all in. They've earned this. After all of the difficulties between them due mostly to external forces rather than their own internal ones, they've earned these moments. Jace isn't one to waste an opportunity either, so he opens his eyes once more to study her. ]
How long have you been awake for?
[ He reaches for her hand, fingers winding with hers to tug her forward in his direction. ]
[ She moves with the gravity of him, shifts until she can wrap an arm around his waist and hook her chin to his shoulder. It's wonderful, the way she can sense his heat mingling with her own, the spaces they can fill between them now. ]
Couple of hours. You woke up before. We had a conversation. About bread so I didn't really think you were all that lucid. [ Impromptu sleepovers with her boyfriend is probably frowned upon but it's not like she cares any more. ] I got some sketching in though so it was fine.
[ Lifting her hand to run her fingers through his hair. ] Did you sleep well?
[ Content, is how Jace feels right now. At peace. Like there is no imbalance in the world, and right now in this moment - this is how it feels to have not a single care in the world, when everything is exactly as it should be.
He is only distantly aware that moments like these never last and he's sure that some fresh hell will greet them - but for now, that thought is so far away from the touch of Clary's fingers running through his hair, her warmth pressed up against him that he won't pay it any real mind. ]
I did. Perhaps it was the first time in a long time that I've slept so well. You had a lot to do with it.
[ He isn't afraid to admit this aloud; they've been through enough now that little truths like these aren't meant to be used as a tool of romance but a clarification of how important she is to him. ]
This conversation about bread, though.
[ Tell him more? Because, what?
He shifts to glance down at her, arching an eyebrow. ]
I'm like Nyquil. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. [ Her smile is delighted and easy to press into his shoulder, her eyes closing for a moment. ]
You told me sourdough was a lie. And to never accept wheaten from an Irish man. And then you said you wanted a sandwich so I told you that it's not the middle-ages any more and you could make your own. You passed out after that.
[ She arches an eyebrow right back. ] And I used to think you were eloquent.
[ He will take that truth to the grave, Clary Fray! ]
Are you sure that wasn't something you dreamed up? I hardly think I would have advised you about the truth of sourdough ... though wheaten from an Irish man seems about right. Can't trust them, you know.
[ Jace is smiling now. This conversation is clearly not as important as merely being around Clary, like the quiet non-admitting sap that he is.
He pulls her in, arms wrapped around her. ]
Honestly, I'm not really even a fan of sandwiches. Particularly the ones they've got in America with the - bright orange square cheese, is it?
[ She makes a pleased little sound as Jace pulls her closer, her cheeks burning a little but her smile bright and content. But then! Disbelief. Shock. Horror. ] You don't like grilled cheese?!
[ Making a big show of extracting herself from his grip. ] That's it, that's the breaking point, I can't date someone that doesn't like grilled cheese. I have to go and get Izzy to find me a new boyfriend.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sry i only play dumb babies
Clary's been drawing him for at least ninety minutes now. He's been asleep for eighty of them.
She's lying on her stomach across the length of his bed, graphite smudged against her fingers and cheek where she'd rubbed at her face. Her sketchbook is strewn in front of her and every time she leans too hard her pencils do their best to roll away. It would be frustrating if she didn't feel so peaceful. And it is peaceful. She's definitely not used to that. She's not used to being allowed these moments alone with him, where she can do her best to capture the vulnerable fan of his eyelashes on paper, where she can look and not feel like a thorn is being pushed into her gut. It's been weeks since they found out the truth but she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it, not really. She spent too long hurting from it.
She's smiling to herself when she curves the wrong way with her drawing hand, spare graphite finally breaking free from her hold of paper and blankets. It rolls off onto the carpet and Clary sighs a little, sparing Jace a glance before she rolls to her left to reach for it. Of course that's when she sees a very fluffy tail making it's way towards the window. Clary narrows her eyes and tries to wave at Church, knowing exactly what he's about to do. ]
Church! [ Her voice is a whisper as she shifts her body closer to the edge to see if she can distract him by petting him. Inch by inch she reaches out. And okay, so she looks like she's trying to slither off the bed by now, one hand pressed to the carpet to hold her up, the other stretching as far as she can. But she's so close and Jace is asleep. Clary doesn't want to wake him. ] Church don't.
[ Church has other ideas though. And he's faster than Clary ( everyone is in the Institute, even the pets ) but not as light on his feet. When he jumps his paws catch on the edge of some dusty book and sends it crashing to the floor. Instinctively Clary tries to grab either him or it and loses her balance entirely. Between her thumping off the bed into an ungainly heap and Church's offended mrrrow there's no way a normal human being could stay unconscious, let alone a shadowhunter.
She sighs and rolls onto her back, staring at the ceiling. ] The ground can swallow me up now.
no subject
[ Jace's voice is groggy and low as he pretty much comes fully awake, no thanks to crashing books and annoying cats. Church has been a staple of the Clave, and for as long as he remembers, there's never been a day that passed when he hasn't seen that cat do something mildly irritating, and then wished it would run off and get lost only to worry with the others when he did get himself into trouble.
Cats. Such dumb creatures.
He rolls over onto his side and slowly opens his eyes, mouth formed into a crooked, one-sided smirk, glancing down at Clary on the floor.
Just a little bit cheeky: ]
What are you doing down there anyway?
no subject
But then we would both be trapped in my pit of shame and you can't get take-out from there. The pit of shame is for when you're cutting yourself off from the world because it's the only way. It's a one person pit. Very small, very dark.
[ She doesn't bother sitting up, instead flinging her arms over her face and groaning. ] I was trying to stop Church from waking you. [ Peeking out from under her elbow. ] Go back to sleep so I can pretend it was a crazy dream.
no subject
[ This coming from the King of Dramatic, so you know, it's somehow only fitting that Clary's right there alongside him. His smirk slowly melts into something a little more fond, softening at the edges. He shifts so he can sit up this time. Sleep time is definitely over, but so long as Clary's around, then he honestly prefers it that way. ]
I think I'm beyond sleep now.
[ He stretches, yawns, then gestures to the empty space next to him. ]
Come join me.
no subject
[ Clary's tone is teasing and light as she uncovers her face and scoots up on to her knees. For a moment she just rests there, pausing to look at him and the way his hair is sleep-mussed, the pillow creases on his cheek. He's so beautiful that sometimes it hurts, like a balloon expanding inside of her chest and pressing against her ribs. But it's so easy to shake it off when he smiles because that's when she knows she belongs.
Climbing to her feet, she makes sure to at least move the half a dozen unfinished drawings she'd left behind in her wake before she takes the place beside Jace. She twists so she can look at him, her legs tucking underneath her and her hand coming up to smooth over his hair. ] I'm still sorry about waking you.
no subject
[ Jace allows himself to revel in the feel of her touch against him because after so long of being deprived of it, it's a little like an addiction and he'll happily drink it all in. They've earned this. After all of the difficulties between them due mostly to external forces rather than their own internal ones, they've earned these moments. Jace isn't one to waste an opportunity either, so he opens his eyes once more to study her. ]
How long have you been awake for?
[ He reaches for her hand, fingers winding with hers to tug her forward in his direction. ]
no subject
Couple of hours. You woke up before. We had a conversation. About bread so I didn't really think you were all that lucid. [ Impromptu sleepovers with her boyfriend is probably frowned upon but it's not like she cares any more. ] I got some sketching in though so it was fine.
[ Lifting her hand to run her fingers through his hair. ] Did you sleep well?
no subject
He is only distantly aware that moments like these never last and he's sure that some fresh hell will greet them - but for now, that thought is so far away from the touch of Clary's fingers running through his hair, her warmth pressed up against him that he won't pay it any real mind. ]
I did. Perhaps it was the first time in a long time that I've slept so well. You had a lot to do with it.
[ He isn't afraid to admit this aloud; they've been through enough now that little truths like these aren't meant to be used as a tool of romance but a clarification of how important she is to him. ]
This conversation about bread, though.
[ Tell him more? Because, what?
He shifts to glance down at her, arching an eyebrow. ]
no subject
You told me sourdough was a lie. And to never accept wheaten from an Irish man. And then you said you wanted a sandwich so I told you that it's not the middle-ages any more and you could make your own. You passed out after that.
[ She arches an eyebrow right back. ] And I used to think you were eloquent.
no subject
[ He will take that truth to the grave, Clary Fray! ]
Are you sure that wasn't something you dreamed up? I hardly think I would have advised you about the truth of sourdough ... though wheaten from an Irish man seems about right. Can't trust them, you know.
[ Jace is smiling now. This conversation is clearly not as important as merely being around Clary, like the quiet non-admitting sap that he is.
He pulls her in, arms wrapped around her. ]
Honestly, I'm not really even a fan of sandwiches. Particularly the ones they've got in America with the - bright orange square cheese, is it?
no subject
That's just what you want people to think.
[ She makes a pleased little sound as Jace pulls her closer, her cheeks burning a little but her smile bright and content. But then! Disbelief. Shock. Horror. ] You don't like grilled cheese?!
[ Making a big show of extracting herself from his grip. ] That's it, that's the breaking point, I can't date someone that doesn't like grilled cheese. I have to go and get Izzy to find me a new boyfriend.